Five reasons a therapist is recommended when disclosing your sexual betrayal

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Sex addiction can kill your relationship. It is a severe mental health issue, a dysfunction that affects many areas of your life. Your risky sexual behavior hurts you and others around you. It is unlikely – just about impossible – that you can handle sex addiction on your own. Probably you do your best to fight off your addiction; however, you cannot. You fail over and over again. You hate yourself for your weakness. You take risks that you do not want to take. You might need help from a sex addiction therapist.

A therapist does more than listen to you. Of course, you can share your burden with someone, it is helpful in itself, but a trained sex addiction counselor can do more: they can provide advice and professional guidance. Their assistance might very well save your relationship.

1. A Professional Can Deal with your Shocked Partner

If you want your relationship to survive, you will need to disclose it to your partner. Disclosure means that you are honest with your partner, and you take all the responsibility for everything you have done. It will be a rough situation. Do not face it on your own. If you – or your shocked, infuriated partner – give in to impulses of rage, disappointment, and sorrow, or if you start a blame game, your relationship might turn for the worst.

You and your partner would benefit most by attending professional sex addiction therapy. Then, when the counselor feels the time is right, the disclosure will occur. This date may vary; it always depends on your specific circumstances.

A therapist should be present when you tell your partner that you are a sex addict and unfaithful (probably on many occasions). The chances are that your partner will be shocked and angry. A therapist can tell you how to do the necessary preparations. They will give a structure to this challenging conversation, letting you know how you should tell everything, step by step. Finally, a therapist will help you express your guilt. With their help, you can let your partner know that you regretted your mistakes, you are accountable, and are willing to change and what that change looks like moving forward.

2. A Trained Sex Addiction Counselor Knows How to Tell It

A sex addiction therapist will help deal with your partner’s reaction. A therapist will know what has to be shared and what would cause more harm than good. Your therapist will sometimes make you write a letter; this will provide a structure for the forthcoming situation. Once you know what you want to talk about, you can avoid getting distracted by angry outbursts, blame, defensive behavior, and other harmful reactions.

3. A Therapist Will Find the Roots of your Problem

A therapist will help you find the reason behind your addiction. Sex addiction is a behavior that seemingly enables you to deal with stress and negative feelings. Many of these feelings try to hide in your subconscious mind. Sex addiction often comes from childhood traumas. Such issues are hard to face. It will stir up emotions that you probably cannot handle. Dealing with these traumas also requires help from a mental health professional. Your addiction is an obsessive-compulsive behavior. It is a mental disorder; you cannot get rid of it on your own.

4. Guidance through Hardships

Your way to mental health and recovery will not be easy. Your partner will have a rough ride, too. They might feel furious and disappointed.

Your partner can have their issues: codependency or anger. A counselor can address the partner’s issues, too. However, you dismissed their worries. Sex addicts often lie, and – when they want to get off the hook – they are verbally abusive. Both you and your partner should change your approach.

A therapist can help you and your partner avoids pitfalls while healing your broken relationship. You aim to take full responsibility for your sexual behavior and not to cheat on your partner anymore.

5. A Therapist Can Help Avoid Staggered Disclosure

There exists a behavior that experts call staggered disclosure. It means that you do not tell everything to your partner; you hide some of your sex adventures from them. It is very harmful. Again, you will find yourself in a tangled web of lies. It will undermine your partner’s trust. A trained addiction therapist can recognize such tactics and will help you avoid them.

Those are five reasons a therapist is recommended for disclosure.

Would you mind commenting on the ways a professional helped you in this disclosure process? Or any pitfalls you avoided or what you can relate to in the comments below. 

If you’re the partner or the sex addiction check out these posts below for further information:

A Story of “Infidelity Induced Trauma

Help! My partner cheated on me.

What does sex addiction look like?

What’s the difference between health sex and addictive sex?

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