Help! My Partner Cheated On Me!

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infidelityInfidelity is not rare. People cheat on their partners. What if you are the betrayed one? You feel devastated. Maybe your partner only wandered away once or twice – perhaps they are notorious cheaters, moreover, sex addicts, which means they have an obsessive approach to sex. The shock and pain will not go away soon; a romantic betrayal has long-term effects on you. Seek treatment. Support groups are vital but probably not enough. You may want to seek a sex addiction therapist to help you sort out your disturbing thoughts.

5 Ways of Infidelity Affects You.

Depression and Despair

Your partner’s infidelity has a devastating effect on your everyday life. You may lose your focus and you cannot concentrate on your job, your everyday tasks. You may feel depressed. You may alienate from your family members and friends. You may feel shame or fury. Probably you cannot sleep, you have nightmares, you develop migraines.  If you feel weary all the time, you are distracted, you find no pleasure in your favorite activities, you should see a therapist. You may need help with your marriage and family problems and your depression, too. Clinical depression is a serious matter.

Self-doubt and Low Self-Esteem

You might believe that your partner cheated on you because you were not good enough for him or her. You may have thoughts like “my wife cheated on me, because the other guy was better” or “the other woman is brighter and more beautiful than me”. You blame yourself for his or her infidelity. You feel insecure and frustrated. Low self-esteem is toxic. You may develop self-harming habits like compulsive eating or compulsive spending. You may want to find relief in excessive drinking, or you want to cheat on your partner, out of revenge. However, do not forget that your partner’s infidelity has its separate issues from yours.. Sex addicts are obsessed with sex, their behavior shows obsessive and compulsive tendencies. Infidelity is just that.

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

You may develop some symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. You have angry outbursts without any reason, and you become aggressive. You avoid the places or people that remind you of your trauma. You have intrusive thoughts: you relive the painful memories over and over again. You feel hopeless, you dread the future. Once you recognize some of these symptoms, consider seeking professional help. If a month has gone by and you still have the symptoms or the symptoms are extreme, you have a problem – a sex addiction counselor can help you.


You have probably doubted your partner’s honesty to begin with, and he or she has shrugged it away, saying that you are paranoid or insecure. You might have felt guilty about your doubts – and now it turns out that you were right all the while. Now that you do not trust your partner anymore, you are overly cautious: you are looking for tell-tale signs, red flags, you check your partner’s pockets, wallet, and desk drawers. Perhaps you have obsessive images of your partner’s infidelity. Your partner probably has sex addiction issues and you have a good reason for not trusting them. Although your partners dishonest is separate, paranoia is rooted in you and a plan to get help is needed for health and recovery for yourself. A counselor or Sanonn meeting will help you to know what to do next.


Your situation is particularly hard, because it is not an enemy or an indifferent person who caused your woes. It is the person whom you are supposed to trust the most. You cannot forgive your partner and you let them know it. You nag them, you slip hurtful remarks. Be careful with it. Probably your partner has issues and needs help. Seek a professional who sexual addiction and infidelity induced trauma.. A counselor or a sex addiction therapist may find the underlying reasons for your partner’s behavior. Probably she or he has undergone severe traumas, coming to understand this will help you both greatly. Many sex addicts come from dysfunctional families. Brace yourself for ugly surprises. Once you start  therapy, you may learn about unthinkable issues in your partner’s distant past, from childhood abuse to incest or assault but there is also hope ahead. Many relationships bond like never before with an openness they only wished for.

Ready to get started on making a change in your relationship? We can help.

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Sonoran Counseling Services, Inc.
1130 E Missouri Ave,
Suite 550 Phoenix, Arizona 85014
T. (480) 287-2393